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Ask Polly

  1. ask polly
    ‘No One Likes the Real Me!’You have to stop trying so hard to impress people.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  2. ask polly
    ‘Am I Too Obsessed With My Nemesis?’Ask yourself what fears are fueling your obsession.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  3. ask polly
    ‘I’m a Nightmare Person! Help!’Ask yourself what beliefs are looming behind your shame and self-hatred.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  4. ask polly
    ‘How Do You Learn to Be Happy Alone?’If you want to feel healthy and calm, you need to tune in to your feelings more often.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  5. ask polly
    ‘I’m So Shy and It’s Ruining My Life!’Give yourself room to be who you are without judgment.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  6. ask polly
    ‘I Moved to L.A. and I Hate It!’If you want your life to improve, you have to stop avoiding your feelings.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  7. ask polly
    ‘Why Am I Still So Angry at My Former Bully?’Rage is often a sign that you’re not treating yourself with enough care.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  8. ask polly
    ‘Should I Give Up on Trying to Make My Family Accept Me?’You’re still in denial about what they can and can’t give you.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  9. ask polly
    ‘My Fear of Climate Change Is Eroding My Sanity!’There are small things you can do to align yourself with your values.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  10. ask polly
    ‘I’m Paralyzed by Anxiety About Climate Change!’You can believe that the fight is hopeless and still fight.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  11. ask polly
    ‘I’m Constantly Worried My Boyfriend Will Leave Me!’When you feel insatiable, you need to cultivate compassion for yourself.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  12. ask polly
    Ask Polly: ‘I Want Kids, But My Boyfriend Isn’t Ready!’You need to find the guts to stand up for your future.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  13. ask polly
    Ask Polly: ‘My Kid Is Nonbinary, and I Can’t Get Over It’You need to recognize how thoughtful your child is.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  14. ask polly
    Ask Polly: ‘I’m So Indecisive About Everything!’Throw all of your selves and contradictions on the table, and see what works.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  15. ask polly
    ‘I Can’t Stop Oversharing!’Recognize when it’s caused by an anxious need to please others.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  16. ask polly
    ‘I Can’t Speak to Anyone!’Talking is easy when you trust yourself.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  17. ask polly
    Ask Polly: My In-Laws Are Careless About My Deadly Food Allergy!Sometimes there’s nothing you can do but keep your distance.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  18. ask polly
    ‘Do I Self-Sabotage When It Comes to Dating?’You need to figure out what appeals to you, and why.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  19. ask polly
    ‘I Hate Dating Apps So Much!’Never do anything that feels like a waste of time.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  20. ask polly
    ‘I Want to Be Single, But I’m Miserable Without Sex!’Sex cannot save you, but love and words and showing up and listening can.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  21. ask polly
    Ask Polly: ‘I Don’t Trust My Friends!’Your belief system is making you paranoid.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  22. ask polly
    ‘Am I Too Romantic About True Love?’Don’t change your entire belief system just because you’re afraid of seeming naïve.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  23. ask polly
    Ask Polly: ‘How Do I Stop Being an Asshole?’First you need to face your callousness toward yourself.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  24. ask polly
    ‘My Friendships Make Me Sad’Can you trust your instincts when it comes to friends?
    By Heather Havrilesky
  25. ask polly
    ‘Men Always Disappoint Me!’You have to learn to use your voice.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  26. ask polly
    ‘I Regret My College Social Life’Purge that concern from your mind once and for all.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  27. ask polly
    ‘I Have an Excellent Lifestyle, But What If I Lose It?’You’re taking the worst part of panicking and ignoring the best part.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  28. ask polly
    ‘Should I Invite My Mean Aunt to My Wedding?’When family members never address what they want or feel, things get ugly quickly.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  29. ask polly
    ‘I Can’t Do Casual’You won’t become brave enough to ask for what you want until you know, for certain, that you deserve it.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  30. ask polly
    ‘I Live With My Parents and I’m Miserable!’No one should have to feel this bad about their life at your age.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  31. ask polly
    ‘I Am a Very Jealous Wife!’If you want to truly be healthy, you can’t turn your back on who you are.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  32. ask polly
    ‘Will Grief Destroy My New Marriage?’You need to become brave enough to talk about this with the people who know you.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  33. ask polly
    ‘I Am Rich and Worthless’You need to wake up and live a real life.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  34. ask polly
    ‘Why Do I Always Have a Crush on Someone?’Sometimes it doesn’t pay to intellectualize our very basic need for connection.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  35. ask polly
    ‘I’m Juggling School With Full-Time Work and I’m Miserable!’You feel guilty for sleeping eight hours or having sex? Dude.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  36. ask polly
    ‘My Husband Read My Journal and Now He’s Upset!’Find a way to be honest with each other without letting it crush you.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  37. ask polly
    ‘I Send Letters After Relationships End, But No One Writes Me Back’You’re throwing down brutal truths at the exact moment they’re no longer relevant.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  38. ask polly
    ‘Time Moves Too Quickly!’Your thoughts are forming tight fences around your feelings.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  39. ask polly
    ‘I’m a Pathetic Loser Who Can’t Stop Procrastinating!’You’re not what you think you are.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  40. ask polly
    ‘Is My Absence From Social Media a Red Flag?’I think you’re ahead of the curve.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  41. ask polly
    ‘I’ve Fallen Apart, and Nobody Shows.’Sometimes I think no one has it worse than the one who never gets angry.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  42. ask polly
    ‘I’m 17 and No One Understands Me!’You’re trying to stay superior, to keep yourself safe.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  43. ask polly
    ‘My Family Isn’t Speaking to Me and I’m Miserable Over It!’You know in your heart they’re being unfair, but that doesn’t mean you don’t miss them.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  44. ask polly
    ‘Am I Too Weird and Contradictory to Find Love?’You, my friend, are not right with yourself.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  45. ask polly
    ‘Every Man I Date Finds the Love of His Life Right After We Break Up!’Ask yourself why you’re so into these narratives about how you lose and lose and lose.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  46. ask polly
    Ask Polly: ‘How Do I Decide What to Do With My Life?’I think that the answer, for you, begins with your shame.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  47. ask polly
    ‘I’m Depressed and I Want to Leave My Perfectly Good Husband’You don’t want to talk about difficult things, like the fact that you’re falling apart.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  48. ask polly
    ‘My Ex-Boyfriend Hates Me and It’s Messing Up My New Life!’You’re living inside his twisted perception of you.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  49. ask polly
    ‘I’m Scared of Failure’You’re hidden, which doesn’t help.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  50. ask polly
    ‘I Will Never Be Who I Want to Be’You’re playing a role that doesn’t suit you anymore.
    By Heather Havrilesky
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