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Ask Polly
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ask polly
‘No One Likes the Real Me!’You have to stop trying so hard to impress people.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
‘Am I Too Obsessed With My Nemesis?’Ask yourself what fears are fueling your obsession.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
‘I’m a Nightmare Person! Help!’Ask yourself what beliefs are looming behind your shame and self-hatred.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
‘How Do You Learn to Be Happy Alone?’If you want to feel healthy and calm, you need to tune in to your feelings more often.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
‘I’m So Shy and It’s Ruining My Life!’Give yourself room to be who you are without judgment.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
‘I Moved to L.A. and I Hate It!’If you want your life to improve, you have to stop avoiding your feelings.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
‘Why Am I Still So Angry at My Former Bully?’Rage is often a sign that you’re not treating yourself with enough care.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
‘Should I Give Up on Trying to Make My Family Accept Me?’You’re still in denial about what they can and can’t give you.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
‘My Fear of Climate Change Is Eroding My Sanity!’There are small things you can do to align yourself with your values.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
‘I’m Paralyzed by Anxiety About Climate Change!’You can believe that the fight is hopeless and still fight.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
‘I’m Constantly Worried My Boyfriend Will Leave Me!’When you feel insatiable, you need to cultivate compassion for yourself.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
Ask Polly: ‘I’m So Indecisive About Everything!’Throw all of your selves and contradictions on the table, and see what works.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
‘I Can’t Stop Oversharing!’Recognize when it’s caused by an anxious need to please others.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
‘I Can’t Speak to Anyone!’Talking is easy when you trust yourself.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
‘Do I Self-Sabotage When It Comes to Dating?’You need to figure out what appeals to you, and why.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
‘I Hate Dating Apps So Much!’Never do anything that feels like a waste of time.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
‘I Want to Be Single, But I’m Miserable Without Sex!’Sex cannot save you, but love and words and showing up and listening can.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
Ask Polly: ‘I Don’t Trust My Friends!’Your belief system is making you paranoid.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
‘Am I Too Romantic About True Love?’Don’t change your entire belief system just because you’re afraid of seeming naïve.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
Ask Polly: ‘How Do I Stop Being an Asshole?’First you need to face your callousness toward yourself.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
‘My Friendships Make Me Sad’Can you trust your instincts when it comes to friends?
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
‘Men Always Disappoint Me!’You have to learn to use your voice.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
‘I Regret My College Social Life’Purge that concern from your mind once and for all.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
‘I Have an Excellent Lifestyle, But What If I Lose It?’You’re taking the worst part of panicking and ignoring the best part.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
‘Should I Invite My Mean Aunt to My Wedding?’When family members never address what they want or feel, things get ugly quickly.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
‘I Can’t Do Casual’You won’t become brave enough to ask for what you want until you know, for certain, that you deserve it.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
‘I Live With My Parents and I’m Miserable!’No one should have to feel this bad about their life at your age.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
‘I Am a Very Jealous Wife!’If you want to truly be healthy, you can’t turn your back on who you are.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
‘Will Grief Destroy My New Marriage?’You need to become brave enough to talk about this with the people who know you.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
‘I Am Rich and Worthless’You need to wake up and live a real life.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
‘Why Do I Always Have a Crush on Someone?’Sometimes it doesn’t pay to intellectualize our very basic need for connection.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
‘I’m Juggling School With Full-Time Work and I’m Miserable!’You feel guilty for sleeping eight hours or having sex? Dude.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
‘My Husband Read My Journal and Now He’s Upset!’Find a way to be honest with each other without letting it crush you.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
‘I Send Letters After Relationships End, But No One Writes Me Back’You’re throwing down brutal truths at the exact moment they’re no longer relevant.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
‘Time Moves Too Quickly!’Your thoughts are forming tight fences around your feelings.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
‘I’ve Fallen Apart, and Nobody Shows.’Sometimes I think no one has it worse than the one who never gets angry.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
‘I’m 17 and No One Understands Me!’You’re trying to stay superior, to keep yourself safe.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
‘My Family Isn’t Speaking to Me and I’m Miserable Over It!’You know in your heart they’re being unfair, but that doesn’t mean you don’t miss them.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
‘Every Man I Date Finds the Love of His Life Right After We Break Up!’Ask yourself why you’re so into these narratives about how you lose and lose and lose.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
Ask Polly: ‘How Do I Decide What to Do With My Life?’I think that the answer, for you, begins with your shame.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
‘I’m Depressed and I Want to Leave My Perfectly Good Husband’You don’t want to talk about difficult things, like the fact that you’re falling apart.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
‘I’m Scared of Failure’You’re hidden, which doesn’t help.
By Heather Havrilesky
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ask polly
‘I Will Never Be Who I Want to Be’You’re playing a role that doesn’t suit you anymore.
By Heather Havrilesky
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