First Person - The Cut

first person Yesterday at 8:30 a.m.

When I Feared My FatherHe made my childhood chaos. Now I can see the wounds we both share.

By Qian Julie Wang

9/11: 20 years later Sept. 10, 2021

I Lost My Dad on 9/11. I’m Still Searching for Who He Was.Twenty years later, I’ve started to find him outside of the tragedy that took his life.

By Nicole C. Foster

9/11: 20 years later Sept. 9, 2021

The Patriot Act and MeAs a kid, I tried out photography. Then the FBI searched my home.

By Ria Tobaccowala

book excerpt Sept. 6, 2021

Mi Mami Tells Me to Get Out of the SunGrowing up, my Nicaraguan mother worried about the darkness of my skin. But I can’t be held back by colorism.

By Prisca Dorcas Mojica Rodríguez

first person Sept. 3, 2021

I Dated My Entire Quarantine PodOur polyamorous fivesome kept me sane during the pandemic. Then the world opened up again.

By Rachel Cromidas

the first rule Aug. 17, 2021

Fight Club Spoke to MeTwenty-five years later, a novel that shouldn’t have resonated still does.

By Alex McElroy

everybody hurts Aug. 5, 2021

The Diary of a Teenage AdultPandemic dating made me feel feelings I hadn’t felt in years.

By Dolly Alderton

first person Aug. 3, 2021

Ballet LessonsYears after I quit, I’m still plagued by my own relentless perfectionism.

By Megan Abbott

first person July 26, 2021

I Still Worry That I’ll Be NextA lifetime of being taught to fear sexual assault didn’t make it easier for me to call what happened by its name.

By Nafissa Thompson-Spires

book excerpt July 14, 2021

Those Were the Days of Our LivesThis generation will never know the true freedom — and neglect — of being an ’80s kid.

By Danielle Henderson

first person June 25, 2021

I Know What It’s Like to Have Your Sanity QuestionedListening to Britney Spears’s testimony reminded me of my own time in psychiatric care.

By Erica Schwiegershausen

in memoriam June 24, 2021

Janet Malcolm Couldn’t Escape Being a WriterThe late journalist famously despised her own profession, but she knew it was the best tool she had.

By Bridget Read

first person May 27, 2021

The Anxiety of Growing Up Asian AmericanAs the child of Indian immigrants, I was never as free as my peers.

By Maya Shanbhag Lang

first person May 8, 2021

The Version of Myself My Mother KnewThe more milestones I reach without my mom, the further from her I get.

By Pia Araneta

first person May 5, 2021

My Mother in ThereThat was her, in an iPhone, a hospital bed, and my memories, free of her sickness for the first time in 40 years.

By Marie Mutsuki Mockett

black lives matter May 3, 2021

I Should Only Know Ma’Khia From TikTokHer hairstyle tutorials offer a glimpse into the life she could have led.

By Camille Squires

first person Apr. 28, 2021

My Hijab Has Always Been My ChoiceI’m not voiceless, and neither are the Muslim teen girls France wants to silence.

By Amani Al-Khatahtbeh

first person Apr. 20, 2021

Was That Racism?I ask myself this question almost every day.

By Julie Kim

in memoriam Apr. 9, 2021

The Resilience of DMXPeople with out-of-this world talent are no less prone to addiction.

By Ashley Stoney

first person Apr. 5, 2021

I Became Asian When I Left AsiaWho do we mean when we refer to the ‘Asian American community’?

By Emily Jungmin Yoon

first person Mar. 25, 2021

I Used to Want a ‘Normal’ FamilyA beloved pet helped me see my parents in a whole new light.

By Cathaleen Chen

first person Jan. 28, 2021

Seeing Myself in WandaVisionI know what it’s like to work overtime to fit in.

By Marianne Eloise

first person Dec. 22, 2020

All the Time I Wasted Trying to Please Indifferent MenThe way Christie Smythe blew up her life for love is harrowing, utterly bananas, and perfectly understandable.

By Brandon Taylor

first person Nov. 9, 2020

COVID Took My Grandfather. But It Wasn’t What Killed Him.His death, six months into the pandemic, is as political as it is biological.

By Sarah Jones

first person Nov. 3, 2020

My Therapists Were Right About UncertaintyFaced with actual, persistent chaos, I’ve realized there was never a way to outpace danger.

By Lisa Miller

first person Oct. 29, 2020

A Recipe Gets You Only So FarChasing intangible feelings, in and out of the kitchen.

By Bryan Washington

alas Oct. 13, 2020

I Have Come to the Humiliating Conclusion That I Am an ExtrovertIt seems I do miss other people.

By Molly Fischer

all in the family Oct. 8, 2020

My Mother Once Sold Horoscopes to SurviveI’m beginning to understand how the fall of her country prepared her for uncertainty.

By Natasha Frid

all in the family Oct. 6, 2020

How I Stopped Ghosting My FamilyThis year, I learned to do what my mother once did for me.

By Beatrice Kilat

first person Oct. 1, 2020

Aching for AbolitionAs a survivor of sexual violence, I know prison isn’t the answer.

By Camonghne Felix

first person Sept. 25, 2020

I Never Expected Justice for Breonna TaylorHow can this realism make way for hope?

By Tyrese Coleman

first person Sept. 25, 2020

Are You Aging Correctly?Ask yourself who benefits when women gracefully fade into the background.

By Heather Havrilesky

power Sept. 22, 2020

Why Did I Think She Wouldn’t Die?I see now that attributing superhuman strength to Ruth Bader Ginsburg doesn’t do her enough justice.

By Lisa Miller

first person Sept. 16, 2020

Rosemary Will Never Smell the SameWe wanted to believe that simmering herbs could protect our lungs from the wildfire smoke.

By Meaghan O'Connell

first person Sept. 15, 2020

Buying Myself BackWhen does a model own her own image?

By Emily Ratajkowski

first person Sept. 11, 2020

Good-bye to Century 21, the Store Where I Grew UpI came of age between your racks.

By Xochitl Gonzalez

in memoriam Sept. 1, 2020

A Superhero Who Looks Like UsThe bittersweet thrill of rewatching Black Panther with my 5-year-old daughter.

By Carla Bruce-Eddings

first person Aug. 4, 2020

How the Hell Are Working Parents ‘Doing This’?I ask myself every day.

By Carla Bruce-Eddings

first person June 18, 2020

This JuneteenthI want to feel the peace that white people have enjoyed at my expense.

By Jennifer Neal

parenting June 10, 2020

The Sacrifice Black Children Shouldn’t Have to MakeThis country prizes Black children’s precocity — insists on it, even, much of the time.

By Stacia Brown

the longest lives May 29, 2020

‘We Lost Sister Grace on Monday’The sisters of Mount Saint Vincent Convent are praying we learn from this.

By Amelia Schonbek

documentary May 28, 2020

This 107-Year-Old Viral-Star Grandma Has Some Advice for YouIn her second century, Louise “Nonnie” Bonito is still making meatballs and refusing to dwell on the negative.

As told to Lisa Addario

life after life May 21, 2020