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First Person

  1. first person
    All the Time I Wasted Trying to Please Indifferent MenThe way Christie Smythe blew up her life for love is harrowing, utterly bananas, and perfectly understandable.
    By Brandon Taylor
  2. first person
    COVID Took My Grandfather. But It Wasn’t What Killed Him.His death, six months into the pandemic, is as political as it is biological.
    By Sarah Jones
  3. first person
    My Therapists Were Right About UncertaintyFaced with actual, persistent chaos, I’ve realized there was never a way to outpace danger.
    By Lisa Miller
  4. first person
    A Recipe Gets You Only So FarChasing intangible feelings, in and out of the kitchen.
    By Bryan Washington
  5. alas
    I Have Come to the Humiliating Conclusion That I Am an ExtrovertIt seems I do miss other people.
    By Molly Fischer
  6. all in the family
    My Mother Once Sold Horoscopes to SurviveI’m beginning to understand how the fall of her country prepared her for uncertainty.
    By Natasha Frid
  7. all in the family
    How I Stopped Ghosting My FamilyThis year, I learned to do what my mother once did for me.
    By Beatrice Kilat
  8. first person
    Aching for AbolitionAs a survivor of sexual violence, I know prison isn’t the answer.
    By Camonghne Felix
  9. first person
    I Never Expected Justice for Breonna TaylorHow can this realism make way for hope?
    By Tyrese Coleman
  10. first person
    Are You Aging Correctly?Ask yourself who benefits when women gracefully fade into the background.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  11. power
    Why Did I Think She Wouldn’t Die?I see now that attributing superhuman strength to Ruth Bader Ginsburg doesn’t do her enough justice.
    By Lisa Miller
  12. first person
    Rosemary Will Never Smell the SameWe wanted to believe that simmering herbs could protect our lungs from the wildfire smoke.
    By Meaghan O'Connell
  13. first person
    Buying Myself BackWhen does a model own her own image?
    By Emily Ratajkowski
  14. first person
    Good-bye to Century 21, the Store Where I Grew UpI came of age between your racks.
    By Xochitl Gonzalez
  15. in memoriam
    A Superhero Who Looks Like UsThe bittersweet thrill of rewatching Black Panther with my 5-year-old daughter.
    By Carla Bruce-Eddings
  16. first person
    How the Hell Are Working Parents ‘Doing This’?I ask myself every day.
    By Carla Bruce-Eddings
  17. first person
    This JuneteenthI want to feel the peace that white people have enjoyed at my expense.
    By Jennifer Neal
  18. parenting
    The Sacrifice Black Children Shouldn’t Have to MakeThis country prizes Black children’s precocity — insists on it, even, much of the time.
    By Stacia Brown
  19. the longest lives
    ‘We Lost Sister Grace on Monday’The sisters of Mount Saint Vincent Convent are praying we learn from this.
    By Amelia Schonbek
  20. documentary
    This 107-Year-Old Viral-Star Grandma Has Some Advice for YouIn her second century, Louise “Nonnie” Bonito is still making meatballs and refusing to dwell on the negative.
    As told to Lisa Addario
  21. life after life
    I Can’t Be Afraid of TouchMy job as a nurse depends on it.
    By Sallie Tisdale
  22. first person
    For Two Months, My Future Included a BabyThen, in early April, I started spotting.
    By Zoe Whittall
  23. first person
    How Do I Stay Sober Now?It was two weeks into social distancing that I started craving alcohol again.
    By Madeleine Aggeler
  24. first person
    Some Questions About My MotherCan I make sense of her death by assuring myself of her life?
    By Kate Ristow
  25. life after life
    I Fend Off Grief by Feeding PeopleWhat am I supposed to do now?
    By Erin Clare Brown
  26. coronavirus
    Nannies Tell the Truth About Working During the Coronavirus‘Now that I’m out of isolation, I’m taking care of the whole family unit.’
    As told to Anna Silman
  27. first person
    The Spaces Between UsWhen friends and neighbors run for the hills, small differences in wealth suddenly loom large.
    By Lisa Miller
  28. literature
    Personal Essays EssayPlease, consider the genre with me.
    By Sangeeta Singh-Kurtz
  29. first person
    Do You Hate Me for My Yard?Resentment might be the only thing our isolation has in common.
    By Evie Ebert
  30. first person
    Applying for Unemployment Is My New Full-Time JobI’ve called hundreds of times this week. I haven’t spoken to a human yet.
    By Natasha Frid
  31. first person
    Who Knew Meal Planning Could Make Me Feel This Way?I’m not a good cook, but I am a determined one.
    By Lydia Kiesling
  32. first person
    ‘They Separated Me From My Baby’Hospitals are keeping newborns from their parents over coronavirus fears.
    By Irin Carmon
  33. first person
    What Chronic Illness Taught Me About UncertaintyLessons for a global pandemic, from a permanently sick person.
    By Esmé Weijun Wang
  34. first person
    I Know the Day We Got ItA family of four weathers a fetid week of coronavirus.
    By Reyhan Harmanci
  35. book excerpt
    The Worst Friend Date I Ever HadI was hoping she was in the market for a new bff.
    By Samantha Irby
  36. coronavirus
    Walking the Dog Is the Only Time I Feel SaneNothing is the same, except for her.
    By Lisa Miller
  37. coronavirus
    I’m in the High-Risk 2 Percent. It’s Exhausting.A rare disease means I’m always ultracareful about infection contact. This is my nightmare scenario.
    By Sarah Hogate Bacon
  38. science of us
    The Very Soothing Sensation of The SimsSometimes I’m tempted to take better care of my Sims than myself.
    By Caragh Poh
  39. coronavirus
    ‘Don’t Worry’ Is an Act of SelfishnessWhat happens when coronavirus hits an area where worry is considered unfashionable?
    By Sarah Miller
  40. first person
    Cheating on My ParentsMy own abusive mother and father were being replaced, and they knew it.
    By Anonymous
  41. first person
    Replaying My ShameThirteen years later, what happened at Gawker isn’t going away.
    By Emily Gould
  42. new emotions
    That Feeling When Your Fight-or-Flight Response Has No FightThere’s a vague sense of humiliation that accompanies an instinctual retreat from a perceived danger.
    By Mark Epstein
  43. new emotions
    That Feeling When a Minor Problem Seems Like the End of the WorldI knew I wasn’t facing a tragedy, but my feelings disagreed.
    By Melissa Fay Greene
  44. new emotions
    That Feeling When You Share Your Deepest Secrets With a StrangerThere’s an unfettered closeness that comes from spending an intimate night with someone while knowing that you won’t see that person again.
    By Bryan Washington
  45. new emotions
    That Feeling When You’re Haunted by Online EmbarrassmentsChagrinternet is the lingering feeling of minor humiliation endemic to participating in social life online.
    By Dayna Tortorici
  46. new emotions
    That Feeling When You Bond With Someone Over Feeling the Same PainIt’s not Schadenfreude (damage plus joy). Instead, it’s Freundeschaden (friend plus damage).
    By Nell Scovell
  47. new emotions
    That Feeling When Humiliation From Years Ago Hits You All Over AgainYou lie in bed, your mind blissfully empty, when suddenly you are awash with rembarrassment — the feeling of eyes on you from 20 years ago.
    By Sara Novic
  48. new emotions
    That Feeling When You’re Nostalgic for a Time You’d Never Want to ReliveThe general miasma of happy days is rich, but thinking about times of sorrow is what’s really stirring.
    By Andrew Solomon
  49. new emotions
    That Feeling When It’s 3 a.m. and Your Demons Start TalkingNocturnal admissions are the insidious feelings of self-recrimination that take over your brain in states of middle-of-the-night semi-consciousness.
    By Greg Jackson
  50. new emotions
    That Feeling When Another Woman Hypes You UpVeiled in compliments is the same message over and over again: Keep going.
    By Jenny Tinghui Zhang
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