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Heidi Montag

  1. head for the hills
    Justin-Bobby Reminds Us That Life Is So Short on The HillsThankfully, MTV did not spare us this week from Justin-Bobby’s wisdom.
    By Emma Rosenblum
  2. people who do nothing for a living
    Speidi Copes With the RecessionThey’re not getting $100,000 to show up at clubs, so she’s making up for it with her music career.
    By Amy Odell
  3. loose threads
    New Marni Store Opens; Brüno Movie Rated RAlso, Stefano Pilati just got a sleeve tattoo and Speidi shall wed again.
    By Amy Odell
  4. head for the hills
    Kelly Cutrone Returns to The Hills, Heidi Furthers WomankindLast night marked the return of two very important characters: Kelly Cutrone and our favorite bit player, Lauren’s Mustache.
    By Emma Rosenblum
  5. loose threads
    Pharrell Williams Wants to Make Graduation Gowns; Kate Moss Not Writing a CookbookAlso, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are getting married again.
    By Amy Odell
  6. head for the hills
    Spencer Fights, Heidi Shakes, The Hills Never EndsSpencer and Heidi have a fight. The world doesn’t stop! Neither do our recaps. Read all about last night’s double episode.
    By Emma Rosenblum
  7. people who do nothing for a living
    Wait — Drama on The Hills Is Fabricated?And that is why Lauren Conrad is so glad the season premiering tonight will be her last.
    By Amy Odell
  8. new york fugging city
    Fug Girls: Forecasting the Final Season of The Hills From a Single TrailerFrom a two-and-a-half-minute trailer, we can predict what will come in the fifth and final season of ‘The Hills.’
    By The Fug Girls
  9. fashion yearbook
    In Which We Judge Celebrities’ New Year’s Eve AttireSee what Solange Knowles, Mickey Rourke, Speidi, and more wore on New Year’s Eve.
    By Amy Odell
  10. head for the hills
    The Hills Shows How to Shotgun Your WeddingThis week, Spencer lures Heidi into a scary-sounding marriage, and Whitney finally — finally — leaves for New York.
    By Emma Rosenblum
  11. head for the hills
    Whitney Vacantly Begins Her Move From The HillsPlus: Spencer’s a jerk, Stephanie’s clueless, and Lauren’s overemotional. You know, your typical episode.
    By Emma Rosenblum
  12. head for the hills
    The Hills Learns About Trust and We Learn About NanaAudrina and Lauren pretend to patch things up, and we meet the woman indirectly responsible for Spencer and Stephanie’s existence.
    By Emma Rosenblum
  13. head for the hills
    Audrina Freaks, Lauren Cries, and The Hills DeliversAfter a lackluster season, ‘The Hills’ delivers a screechy, mascara-ruining episode. Thank God.
    By Emma Rosenblum
  14. head for the hills
    Speidi May Have Eloped to MexicoNo word on if cameras were there, but we hope they weren’t.
    By Amy Odell
  15. head for the hills
    The Hills Gives Us a Quickie Existential CrisisNow that they’ve announced a fifth season, will we be recapping this nonsense forever? Actually, don’t answer that.
    By Emma Rosenblum
  16. head for the hills
    ‘The Hills’ to Return for Fifth SeasonAnd Lauren Conrad to remain inexplicably, massively famous. Sigh.
    By Amy Odell
  17. head for the hills
    The Hills Gives Us the Male-Model Action We DeserveThis week’s episode brings us back to sweet little Whitney — who’s picking up dudes in crappy NYC bars.
    By Emma Rosenblum
  18. when celebrities design
    Heidi Montag’s Fashion Line Is OverAnchor Blue has decided not to renew Montag’s contract for another Heidiwood line. DARN.
    By Amy Odell
  19. head for the hills
    The Hills Needs a Peace AccordIn this week’s episode, Heidi makes an earnest plea for reconciliation with Lauren. You can imagine how that went over.
    By Emma Rosenblum
  20. head for the hills
    Stephanie and Doug Are the Center of The Hills UniverseAnd their (not so) secret lust for one another grosses us out.
    By Amy Odell
  21. head for the hills
    Lauren Ditches The Hills — and We Are Entertained!L.C. is vacationing in Italy, which means the supporting characters are running the show this week. And? It’s actually good.
    By Emma Rosenblum
  22. run for the hills
    Heidi Montag to Design Her Own Wedding DressSo … will it be low cut? Or low cut?
    By Kristi Garced
  23. head for the hills
    The Hills Knows No Economic DramaAnother week, another head trip into the un-reality of Lauren Conrad’s world.
    By Emma Rosenblum
  24. loose threads
    London Fashion Week Starts; Executive Shuffle at LVMHAlso, Louis Vuitton hosts a sailing event, celebs have Fashion Week spats, and Heidi Montag changes her hair.
    By Amy Odell
  25. head for the hills
    Hills Doubleheader: Audrina and Lauren Finally Talk, OMG.In this week’s second episode, the girls get the mascara all over the place. Obviously.
    By Emma Rosenblum
  26. head for the hills
    A Double Dose of The HillsMTV blessed us twice as much this week, especially in giving us a blowout “let’s totally implode in Vegas” episode.
    By Emma Rosenblum
  27. cult of personality
    The Hills Gets Its Very Own YentaIn an episode much improved from last week’s snoozer, Whitney goes to New York and Kelly Cutrone multitasks like a power bitch.
    By Emma Rosenblum
  28. cult of personality
    Drama on The Hills Strangely Akin to That of Middle EastEpisode two of the latest season was a waste, save for some current-events analysis from the one and only Spencer Pratt.
    By Emma Rosenblum
  29. loose threads
    Ann Taylor Profits Drop; Kate Moss’s New ‘Purple’ Cover Is OutAlso, J.Crew’s accessories go upscale, a 90210 apparel line is imminent, and Ed Westwick talks fashion.
  30. loose threads
    American Apparel Opens in China; Danity Kane to Design JeansAlso, checking into Fashion Week might not take so long this year, and Seven for All Mankind sweeps through Asia.
  31. loose threads
    Teachers Alter Shopping Habits; Hedi Slimane’s New Men’s ‘Vogue’ Cover DebutsAlso, Jane Birkin designs for Lutz & Patmos, Halston handbags disappoint, and Betsey Johnson kissed a girl.
  32. cult of personality
    When You’re in The Hills, You’ll Never Be FriendsThe new season of ‘The Hills’ premiered last night, and we could finally breathe for the first time.
    By Emma Rosenblum
  33. cult of personality
    Heidi Montag Compares Herself to Jesus, Prompt Us to Consider ‘Hills’ BoycottShe and her ‘Hills’ castmates need to stop taking themselves so seriously.
    By Amy Odell
  34. loose threads
    Emporio Armani Launches Intimates; Alessandra Ambrosio Gives Birth!Also: Vera Wang’s Lavender label launches shoes, Elizabeth and James jewelry is now on preorder, and Speidi moves.
  35. loose threads
    DVF Accuses Mango of Copyright Infringement; Gisele’s Pad for SaleAlso, Gisele strips down for new watch ads, and Sarah Brown says she couldn’t compete with Carla Bruni during her London visit.
  36. new york fugging city
    Forecasting ‘The Hills’: A Whole Season in a Single TrailerMTV has released a preview for season four, and we can pretty much tell you exactly how this whole sloppy thing is going to play out.
  37. Heidiwood’s Fall Look Book Has Arrived!Her fall offerings include skinny jeans, midriff-exposing tops, and a conservative frock.
  38. new york fugging city
    The Teen Idol Is Dead, Long Live the (Reality-TV) Teen IdolRemember when teen idols had actual talent? Yeah, those were the days before Nicole Richie, Speidi, and reality television ruined it all.
  39. run through
    Whitney Gets ‘Hills’ Spinoff With Olivia Palermo!And they’re going to need some damn good wardrobes to make it interesting.
  40. cult of personality
    ‘The Hills’: No Place Like Audrina’s Crappy HomeThis week in the continuing saga we like to refer to as Shitting on Audrina’s Head, we open with Heidi (sleeveless and wearing a scarf, as is the inexplicable L.A. style) and her fake boss Brent Bolthouse chatting in his office.
  41. party lines
    Our Very Own Moment with Heidi Montag and Spencer PrattLast night we — yes we! — spoke to Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, to their at once very real and very not real faces.
  42. fashion yearbook
    Judging the Attire at the White House Correspondents’ DinnerCheck out what Heidi Montag, Lauren Conrad, Ashlee Simpson, Jenny McCarthy, and more wore to the big political dinner.
  43. cult of personality
    Everyone Fights on ‘The Hills,’ But Justin Bobby’s BackThis week, Lauren and Lo turn on poor Audrina, which is kind of like kicking a kid in a wheelchair. At least she’s got her skeevy boy toy to comfort her!
  44. loose threads
    Heidi and Spencer’s New Show; More ‘Project Runway’ DramaHeidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have a ‘Newlyweds’-type show in the works, Harvey Weinstein and Jeff Zucker’s ‘Project Runway’ spat continues, and NIna still mulls.
  45. dress code
    Heidi Klum: Fashion Hypocrite?The new issue of ‘Us Weekly’ has a “25 PAGE FASHION BONUS!” (their words, not ours). In it we learn that Heidi Klum doesn’t practice what she preaches.
  46. loose threads
    Nina Garcia Likely to Return to ‘Project Runway’; Naomi Campbell LiesHarvey Weinstein is determined to have Nina Garcia back to judge ‘Project Runway,’ Naomi Campbell says she refuses to fly British Airways, and Italy banned a Tom Ford ad!
  47. new york fugging city
    Test-drive: We Actually Try On Heidi Montag’s HeidiwoodHeidi Montag’s new clothing line hit Anchor Blue stores yesterday, and the ever-daring Fug Girls sacrificed their pristine bodies in order to report on how lovely (or not) the stuff is.
  48. cult of personality
    Spencer and Heidi Scream All Over ‘The Hills’We welcome you back to a Monday-evening episode of ‘The Hills,’ subtly titled “Girls Night Out.” It’s only one episode tonight, folks, and let us say: Amen.
  49. cult of personality
    More From ‘The Hills’: Kelly Cutrone Is Tired, ViciousThis double-hitter recap brings up another darkly titled episode: “Just Be Careful.” Dum-dum-dum (again)! It’s referring to Heidi, though, so it’s not quite as frightening. This episode focuses a lot on Whitney and her new job, so, you know, yawn.
  50. cult of personality
    ‘The Hills’: You’re Crying Because You’re Not As Awesome As SpencerAnother Monday night, another back-to-back showing of The Hills. Thank you, MTV! The first episode is ominously titled “When Spencer Finds Out.” Dum-dum-dum!
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