Displaying all articles tagged:

Ted Cruz

  1. 2018 midterms
    Texas GOP Succeeds in Making Beto O’Rourke Look Extremely Cool and Also HotNot that it takes much when you’re running against Ted Cruz.
  2. l'amour
    Ted Cruz Ominously Invites Wife on Date in Like Two Years’ TimeGood luck, Heidi.
  3. dna tests
    Woman Asks Ted Cruz to Prove He Has Human DNACruz never explicitly says “yes.”
  4. bad cookies
    This Pic of Ted Cruz, Donald Trump Jr., and an Obama Cookie Cake Will Haunt YouHow mature.
  5. Ted Cruz Is Fine With People Buying Sex Toys“People ought to be able to do what they want in their own bedrooms.”
  6. politics
    For One Hot Second, Ted Cruz’s Official Twitter Account Liked a Porn VideoThe video is extremely NSFW.
  7. bicep envy
    Ted Cruz Is Very Impressed by the U.S. Coast Guard’s Muscles“Every one of them [is] ripped.”
  8. this week in drama
    This Week in Drama: Margaret Atwood’s Condo ControversyWe recap the pettiest squabbles, juiciest feuds, and other niche drama you didn’t know you were living for every week.
  9. politics
    Ted Cruz Has a Doppelgänger and It’s Really FreakyThe Texas senator has a doppelgänger.
  10. good decisions
    Alyssa Milano Wisely Rejects Ted Cruz’s Attempt to Join In on a Group HugHe tweeted a winking emoji at her.
  11. great moments in pettiness
    Ted Cruz Was Reportedly Rejected During the Senate’s Secret SantaAl Franken continues to trash talk his Senate colleague.
  12. politics
    Watch Ted Cruz Rob You of Your One Remaining JoyR.I.P., cheese.
  13. burn
    Samantha Bee Sent Off Ted Cruz With a Burn Ouch.
  14. tiny tragedies
    Imagine Having to Talk to Ted Cruz When You Just Want PancakesLittle girls across nation continue to remain wary of Cruz.
  15. plausible conspiracy theories
    Ted Cruz’s Wife Doesn’t Deny That He’s the Zodiac KillerHeidi loves him for who he is. 
  16. kids do the darndest things
    Ted Cruz’s Daughter Doesn’t Want to Be Around Him Either We’re with Caroline Cruz.
  17. video
    Caitlyn Jenner Filmed Herself Using Donald Trump’s Bathroom“Ted: Nobody got molested.”
  18. why?
    Carly Fiorina Is No Mariah CareyShe broke into song to celebrate becoming Ted Cruz’s running mate.
  19. transgender rights
    Caitlyn Jenner: Ted Cruz Should Think About Trans Kids in Restrooms“The issue isn’t about men being in women’s restrooms, okay?”
  20. can u not
    Cruz: Trans People Shouldn’t Use Public ToiletsThat’s … interesting.
  21. can u not
    Ted Cruz’s New Ad Is Offensive to EveryoneQuite a feat.
  22. nope cruzer
    Oh, Ted Cruz, Don’t Say the Thing You Said in Your Primary Night Speech“America has always been best when she is lying down with her back on the mat.”
  23. I Guess Now We Know What Ted Cruz’s Twin Sister Would Look LikeDoppelgänger alert.
  24. Ted Cruz Says He Won’t Ban DildosStockpiling sex toys in anticipation of a Cruz win in November no longer seems necessary.
  25. definitive rankings
    The Top 10 Pettiest Moments of the 2016 Presidential Race, Thus FarSmall hands! Periods! “Your mom” jokes!
  26. love and war
    Ted Cruz Once Argued That Americans Have No ‘Due Process’ Right to MasturbateAs Texas’s solicitor general, Cruz defended a dildo ban by arguing that there is no “substantive-due-process right to stimulate one’s genitals for non-medical purposes.”
  27. Please Don’t Vote Just Based on Your Tinder MatchNew campaign slogan: Swipe right for Sanders.
  28. woman haters
    Ted Cruz, a Man Who Attacks Women, Says, ‘Real Men Don’t Attack Women’Using Ted’s logic, he is a very fake man.
  29. bullfrogging
    Ted Cruz Loves to ‘Bullfrog’And 24 other things you didn’t care to know about him.
  30. where are the bernie bros now
    None of the Top 10 Highest-Paid Bernie Sanders Staffers Are WomenAnd somehow the other candidates look worse!
  31. working on my fitness
    How Dare Ted Cruz Interrupt Precious Gym TimeYou’ve gotta get your cardio in no matter who’s using the gym.
  32. ted cruz
    Why Ted Cruz’s Dishonest Mailing May Not Have Even Worked AnywayReason 6,345 it wasn’t a good idea.
  33. the body politic
    The Election and the Death Throes of White Male PowerThe rage on the main stage of the debate is just a mirror to what is brewing across the country in the face of extraordinary change.
  34. from the mouths of men
    Wallets Full of WomenLet’s analyze what the GOP candidates said when asked, “Which woman would you put on the $10 bill?”
  35. voting on style
    The Best and Worst of the 2016 Campaign MerchHillary Clinton pantsuit T-shirts, Rand Paul sports bras, and so much more.
  36. filibuster fashion
    Ted Cruz Chose Black Walking Shoes for FilibusterAnd this is why we don’t talk about male politicians’ clothes.
  37. tedious men
    Watch Ted Cruz Mansplain the Second Amendment to Dianne FeinsteinLike high school civics class but more condescending.
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